Okay, this post is going to be messy, and mushy and all that fun stuff, so if you want to stop reading, no feelings will be hurt.
First things first, it's official NanoWrimo, wooo! That's National Novel Writing Month for those out of the loop (www.nanowrimo.org). I'm really excited about it, even though you don't get anything more than the satisfaction of accomplishment, it's still worth it.
So, onto messier topics. I've been oogling over relationships lately. It's not good, I'm starting to feel jealous. Tonight I went with a couple to Halloween USA, and they were all concerned with what one another would be wearing and carrying on and such. I want someone to care about what I'm going to be for Halloween. I want someone to eat cheese with. I want to lay in bed next to someone special and laugh about funny shenanigans that happened that day. I don't know what I really want, I'm just in a really weird mood or something. I may need to take a break from thinking about relationships and crap though, I don't want to get to a point of desperation, that's just no good. I want a girlfriend to tell me to take my calendar of the naked chicks playing video games down, and I'm certainly not saying I want to take it down... but I don't know, that stuff to me just feels like they care, in some weird way. Or she gets mad because I had lunch without her, and she's mad because she wanted to have lunch with me. I know that sounds weird, it feels weird typing it, but all those little things that add up that remind you that someone cares are so wonderful. Crap, now I'm just looking for a girlfriend to fill some happiness gap... I'm like an addict, or worse, maybe I really am becoming one of those desperate people I never wanted to be..... ugh.
It's harder to forget the feelings this time. The first time I met her I really liked her, and I found out recently that she liked me when she first met me as well, as in like "more than a friend" kind of way. Then I found out she had a boyfriend, which was a bummer, but there had been a few girls I had liked that had boyfriends, but you just bury your feelings and forget about them. It's also really easy to move on if the boyfriend is cool. If you can see that they're both happy, who would want to come between that. Recently though she made some comments to me. Well.... blah.... I know what the right answer is, I know what I need to do... but it's taking longer this time to bury my feelings, all in good time, or bad time, however you want to look at it.
School, more than ever, feels like a tremendous waste of time. It's fun because of all the people I get to meet, and all the friends I've made because of school, but once in the actual classroom environment, I feel like I don't belong, like I sneak in and I'm just waiting for them to discover me, the non-member in the club.
Anyways, time to get off the crazy EMO coaster and start writing my novel. See you cats later.
Friday, October 26, 2007
Just as a forward to these thought train, not all the tracks have been laid. This is something I just started thinking about. I didn't see it/them in theaters, so that might change things as well, but I've finally seen the two parts of "Grindhouse": "Death Proof" and "Planet Terror." The first film "Death Proof" is directed and written by Quentin Tarantino, and the second is "Planet Terror" directed and written by Robert Rodriguez. Just as an overall, I felt like "Planet Terror" was the more successful of the two films. Anyways, the more I think about it the less and less I like the duo's revival of "The Grindhouse." My problem is that they did it so fucking literally, "ooh, I know what will be clever, we'll digitally add fake film grain and light spots, ooh, hooray, we're so witty and hilarious, lets go blow each other in the corner." I really don't know why I'm being so bitter about this, but thinking back to it, watching them was such a fluff and fuck experience. It was fun while it lasted... but it was just so on the fucking surface. If you want to talk about fucking amazing B movie, see Evil Dead by Sam Raimi or "Dead Alive" by Peter Jackson, which were both done while both were in relative obscurity, and they were both done when they didn't have big budgets or big support, they just had so much heart (and violence). When I think about Grindhouse, it's two amazing film makers, with lots of money saying "remember what it was like to make movies when we were poor?" "haha, yeah, that was silly, lets do a gimmick on that, tee hee." There's just can't get behind it, it's got character, and charm, but the more I think about it the more manufactured it feels. I realize that this was a big cluster fuck of ideas, but maybe someone will read this and glean what I'm trying to say.
Wednesday, October 17, 2007
Wednesday, October 10, 2007
Hello internet, I'm not sure if you have parents, I've heard that Al Gore is at least a distant relative, so maybe you understand, parents can be not so awesome sometimes. I'm sure we've all realized eventually that all those times a parent said "you'll appreciate this someday" they were probably right... but at the time, ugh. I just got off the phone with my Dad, wow do I feel like crap. I probably deserved it, and it is sad that even with 100 moments of kindness and understanding, it only takes one moment when the mask slips off and you say something to your kid that really hurts to really tip the scales. I'm sure parents feel the same way about the things us kids can say sometimes. To quote Flight Of The Conchords "it's a fork in the road, but it cuts like a knife."
Tuesday, October 9, 2007
I'm told that "it's the little things in life", now what "it" is I have no idea, and the person that told me kept trying to put a spoon in his nose, but anyways, I finally broke into the top 5000 of The Office trivia on Facebook. Will it impress girls? probably not, in fact it may have a negative effect (maybe I shouldn't be publicly announcing this). Will it get me a job? probably not. Will it fill my belly with delicious fruit pies? I wish, but here's the real question, does it make me feel good? Yes, yes it does, and isn't that what matters?
Monday, October 8, 2007
I've been trying to write a serial for sometime now and I think I finally have a good idea... I can't be totally sure, I'm going to have to check with my cashew gallery, and all the tin cans that keep getting mad when I drink their insides.... I need some sleep, good night world.