Listen All You Mother Fuckers

BAAAAHHHHH! So I'm at Rotten Tomatoes, looking at the reviews for this weeks opening flicks. I was a fan of the "Hitman" videogame, so I've been very interested in the very soon to be released "Hitman" movie. No big surprise, it's getting shitty reviews. I never hold out much hope for the videogame to movie thing. One review though, written by a guy named Tim "Ultra Douche" Ryan from Variety has sent my calm inclusion of everyone's opinions into a tailspin. Here's what Cunt Bag had to say: "A Eurotrashy vidgame knockoff that misses its target by a mile. Numbingly unthrilling as it lurches from one violent encounter to another, the pic's dark roots in an electronic, non-dramatic medium are plain to see." At first glance, it's just a review, but look closer, one line in particular: "the pic's dark roots in an electronic, non-dramatic medium are plain to see." Fuck you mother ass monkey. Videogames are a non-dramatic medium? I think there are a couple million fans crying at the end of Final Fantasy 7 that might beg to differ with your archaic, dusty, unfounded, dinosaur of a jack ass opinion. I don't feel like going into details about why you're the king of the douches, but you're a douche bag, and I hope you realize that you suck monkey nuts.... balls ass beeeotch.