Friday, November 9, 2007
These are strange days indeed. My confusion about the ladies grows everyday I try to not see them. For one my lady friends, for the most part I've once again buried my feelings for her because they will only get in the way and confuse things, as they usually do. I am still concerned about her, because she's a very good friend of mine, and although I'm too scared or to nervous to take any progressive steps in my life, when it comes to the lives of my friends I'm not afraid to step in and stand up... but I can't say I see it ever getting to that point with this situation. She's a tough cookie. In other lady related news, there's a girl... I like her a lot, and I can't figure out if it's just a friendly liking, or if it's something else. I sort of just met her... sort of. Anyways, I need to watch my footing though, I tend to walk faster than I should, then my head tends to fly over my heals. Who knows how I really feel, well I guess I should... but I'm not sure I do. Why is this such a constant thing for me? There are plenty of single people out there that don't concern themselves with relationships in the least. Aren't there? Well anyways, with this girl it seems like a lot of guys would like her, so in the grand scheme of things where do I really rank? But wait, I'm supposed to be confident, because if there's one thing I've heard from the ladies is that they like guys that are confident. At the same time they like guys who are themselves... a conundrum to say the least. Maybe the trick won't be "being myself" but rather being comfortable with who I am, which would outline the construction of confidence. Maybe the ladies aren't so crazy. But I don't want to force anything. When I like a girl I tend to edit myself way to much and stumble over words and all that... I just need to, ya know, relax. I think if I just take her off my radar of possibilities I will have an easier time just relaxing. I love how I talk about this like anything could ever happen. Damnit, there I go being all whatever again. Ugh, I've said it a million times before and it still means a lot. Relationships are just a big hootinany of shenanigans.